I’m feeling pretty low about David Bowie dying. It’s weird, because I wasn’t a Bowie fan. It’s not that I disliked his music, but just that I never fully gotten into it. I knew it was there and that I’ll get to it someday, and I did get to very little of it during this project in the first and second weeks, and liked what I heard. I think I always boxed myself away from Bowie for some reason. Maybe it started when I was a kid and decided that Syd Barrett was the bigger genius, and had to keep defending my position. What a ridiculous declaration, and why does it even matter? I don’t know what I was trying to achieve with it. Maybe more recognition for Syd Barrett’s work?
Now David Bowie is gone and I’m feeling overwhelmed, and I feel bad feeling overwhelmed, because I’m not as big a fan as others. I was talking to my wife about it and she helped me figure out what it is: Seeing how much he meant to so many people is enough to make me sad. And also, maybe I always thought I’ll have my a-ha Bowie moment, and now that he’s gone it’ll be different. I don’t think David Bowie is immortal, but on Saturday I went to his Wikipedia page and saw that his 69, and I figured he has a lot of time left.
I think I always realized that Bowie was a huge presence, even without knowing his music very well. I never said it out loud to myself or others, but I think I always understood it. He was always in my periphery, and he always seemed so true to himself, and he expressed it in his music, fashion, lifestyle, and everything else he did. His career spanned 49 years and he constantly kept changing and evolving, pushing the envelope and never repeating his steps. I don’t think I can say that about anyone else with such a long and expansive path.
I have a lot of musical heroes, and I always wish I could be like them at the peak of their career. I wish I could be like David Bowie at any point of his career, because it was all peak. So long, you weirdo.
(My apologies for breaking character and not posting about 5 or 10 records I listened to this week).